MY BLOOD MONEY THOUGHTS.

Honestly I have been thinking of trying out blood money lately.Given how hopeless these Buhari times are, it's reasonable to seek out 'intervention' from the powers that be.

Babalawo's place is hard to find these days. Everywhere is called Temple now and everything is done in the name of Jesus. Maybe I will try and copy a phone number off one of the sign boards that has an image of an Indian man with long beards at one corner. I think I have more confidence in them since they (still) have great pride advertising their services as what they are. And not in disguise as another. I need no friend to take me, I can do bad all by myself.

The most fearful thing about blood money is usually the part where they require you to bring the one you love the most. All these my (yeye) boyfriends should be thankful that I feel no love for them. If not I would not have batted an eyelid before throwing their sorry ass in. In exchange for sweet fortune. The other option people are usually given is that of blood relative. Na mehn, I know they say blood is thicker than water. But you know what? I know a few things that are thicker than blood itself. Things like fine wine and very many other fine things money can buy. I think I can put up with the nightmares that comes with spilling blood, more particularly the blood of one's blood.

I believe a Banana Island property, countless travels, shiney jewelry, shapeless bank account, etc is worth it. Bad as em bad I will ease my conscience with generosity and fat donations to orphanages, Churches and street beggars.

See, they say nothing lasts forever, that's why I am exploring this 'red eye' measure to end this poverty. Even though I know the riches may not last, even if it lasts long enough, I sure would not.

But before either the money goes or I pass away, let the whole world know my name. I go spree money pass E-money. I go buy house wey go mock Adenuga own. I go drive motor wey Davido Papa no go fit afford. I go build Cathedral for my church so they will honor me with front row seat until the day my donations run dry. I will buy (oh sorry), I will be conferred an honorary PhD by a reputable University. I will buy a Chieftancy title. I will buy IPhone 7 for all my loyal friends and take them along on my trips. I go buy that motor Tonto Dike husband give her for our last born. And the wrist-watch that Mavihood used in dissing her will be the least of my watches.

But we all know how it usually ends. Kanayo O. Kanayo has played the role convincingly many times that no one should forget. I may default on any of their very stringent rules they give. Maybe the woman that supplies me with the breastmilk of Kaduna-breed brown pig with golden patch on the left ear may get struck in traffic. And not deliver the fresh pig milk that they said I must drink everyday by 7:48am dot daily. All the business enterprises would begin to crash. Boils would spread all over my body like Job, that rich man in the Bible. And my fortune will spiral-down like his too. I will run to Church to seek deliverance. Deliverance from all the abominations and blood I have spilled. I need blood to wash away all the blood I have gotten on my hands. I will need the blood of Jesus to wash me clean. I will hold unto the passage that says 'he who the Son sets free is free indeed' .

Since I already understand that Jesus saves. I should not bother to walk the path of destruction before eventually finding my way back to the old rugged cross. I would rather remain here and continue to look up to Him for He makes all things beautiful in his own time. For he has assured that he can do exceedingly, more superabundantly than we could ever ask for. For all that glitters is not gold.